After some barking persuasion, I finally went to walk my dog. It was chilly, so she was quick- she did her business, I picked it up. On our slow return home, I heard a woman across the street sneeze. A loud, juicy sneeze. She made the sound a cartoon dog with droopy facial features would make after eating something disgusting and trying to expel it, as drool flew out of its mouth along with the offending food. How ladylike, I thought, holding my little bag of shit.